Internal Family Systems (IFS)

What is IFS therapy?

IFS is an evidence-informed model of psychotherapy developed by Dr Richard Schwartz in the 1980s. It is based on the idea that the mind is naturally made up of different "parts", each with its own feelings, beliefs and intentions.

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None of these parts are bad. Even the ones that cause us difficulty, such as the inner critic, the people-pleaser or the part that shuts down, are trying to protect us. Usually they learned their role early in life, often in response to pain or overwhelm.

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IFS also holds that beneath all our parts is a core Self: a calm, curious and compassionate presence that is never damaged, however much we have been through.

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How IFS understands your inner world

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• Managers try to keep us safe by staying in control. They might show up as perfectionism, overthinking, people-pleasing or self-criticism.

• Firefighters step in when painful feelings break through. They might show up as bingeing, numbing, scrolling, drinking or sudden anger.

• Exiles are the younger, vulnerable parts that carry old hurt, shame or fear. The other parts often work hard to keep them out of awareness.​

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In IFS, we don't try to get rid of any part. We get to know each one, understand what it is protecting, and help it trust that you no longer need it to work so hard.

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What can IFS therapy help with?

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IFS can help with:

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• A harsh inner critic and low self-worth

• People-pleasing and difficulty setting boundaries

• Losing yourself in relationships (self-abandonment)

• Anxiety and overthinking

• Anxious or avoidant attachment patterns

• Shame and the effects of childhood trauma

• Feeling stuck, numb or disconnected from yourself

• Repeating painful patterns in love

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What happens in an IFS session?

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1. We start with what is present. You might bring a feeling, a reaction or a situation that keeps repeating.

2. We get to know the part involved. I'll guide you to notice where you feel it, what it is afraid of and what it is trying to do for you.

3. We build a relationship with it. From a place of curiosity rather than judgement, you begin to understand it.

4. When it feels safe, we go deeper. With permission from your protective parts, we can gently reach the younger parts carrying older pain.

5. Healing happens at your pace. Nothing is forced. Protective parts are respected throughout.

Sessions last between 50 to 90 minutes and take place in person in Finchley Central or online.

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Is IFS therapy right for me?

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IFS may suit you if you notice strong inner conflict, recognise patterns you can't seem to change through insight alone, or want a gentle, non-pathologising approach.

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If you are currently in crisis or managing severe symptoms, we may focus first on stabilisation. I'll always discuss with you whether IFS, another approach or a combination is the best fit. I integrate IFS with schema therapy, attachment-based work and nervous system regulation where helpful.

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What the research says

IFS has a growing research base. Early studies have shown promising results for depression, PTSD and chronic pain, and research is ongoing. It is used widely by psychotherapists internationally. 

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You can find out more about IFS via the IFS Institute webpage, click here.

About me

I'm Ioana Rotaru, a BABCP-accredited CBT psychotherapist and relationship specialist with over 10 years of experience. I have trained in IFS Level 1 with IFS UK. 

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Frequently asked questions about IFS therapy

What does IFS stand for? IFS stands for Internal Family Systems. It describes the mind as a system of parts, similar to members of a family, that relate to each other in patterned ways.

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Is IFS therapy evidence-based? IFS has a growing body of research, with promising early results for depression, PTSD and chronic pain. More large-scale studies are under way.

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Can IFS therapy be done online? Yes. IFS works well online. Many clients find being in their own space helps them connect with their inner experience.

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How long does IFS therapy take? This depends on what you bring. Some people notice shifts within a few sessions; longer-standing patterns usually need several months of regular work.

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Is IFS suitable for trauma? Yes, IFS is often used for trauma, including childhood and relational trauma. It works gently and respects your protective parts, so you are not pushed to revisit painful memories before you are ready.

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What's the difference between IFS and talking therapy? Rather than only talking about your experiences, IFS helps you connect directly with the parts of you involved, so change happens at an emotional level as well as an intellectual one.

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Book an IFS therapy session

If you'd like to explore whether IFS is right for you, I offer a free 15-minute consultation. Sessions are start from £90 and available in Finchley Central, London, or online.

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